The winner, a loser, and the just plain daft.

by Kolby LaMarche

The Winner

This Town Meeting Day on the 5th of March, 2024, will mark the third time that Burlington Republican Party Chair Christopher-Aaron Felker has run for city council in Burlington’s third ward. 

Felker first challenged incumbent Councilor Joe Magee in August of 2021, receiving just 13% of the vote – or 136 votes. But when Felker ran in 2022, again against Magee, he was able to secure more than double his share to 27% – 304 votes.

Felker now faces Progressive Joe Kane and Democratic write-in candidate Malik Mines (who failed to submit the required signatures on time). 

Burlington’s lone Republican had two debates this week (debate 1; debate 2) and, in both, vividly laid out a detailed platform.  

Even if one disagrees with Felker, one must admire his tenacity in the political arena. 

Despite a nearly constant barrage of attacks, both in the media and the wider community, Felker has continued his public engagements. He speaks routinely at the city council, watches committee meetings like a hawk, and has a solid understanding of Burlington’s challenges.  

Contrary to popular lefty belief, he isn’t prejudiced, he isn’t cruel. In fact, I’ve had numerous friendly, cordial discussions with him and have found him to be intelligent and fair.   

Felker, I believe, is one of the most transparent, approachable candidates in the whole city and that is what, largely, makes him the winner. 

Honorable Mention: 

Will Emmons has freshly re-entered Burlington politics this cycle. Running for mayor, Emmons has a, let’s say, interesting platform. In a week filled with prepared statements, soporific sermons, and robotic candidates, Emmons spoke the language of the laymen and about his true love for Burlington. 

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The Loser

Progressive Dan Castrigano debated incumbent Democrat Councilor Sarah Carpenter on the 8th. Castriano, a climate absolutist, has centred his campaign on protecting the environment. And that’s about it. 

Castrigano’s out-of-touch platform includes the total banning of short-haul flights, sight-seeing flights, and the F-35s from the Burlington International Airport. 

Furthermore, Castrigano wants to shutter the McNeil Generating Station, where A LOT of Burlington’s energy is created, “as soon as responsibility possible” while providing no affordable, public enterprise-sustaining alternative 

Perhaps this is because, in his own words, he knows nothing about the city’s finances, with Castrigano saying, while awkwardly shrugging when pressed on economics, “I need to learn more about the city’s finances”.   

Castrigano envisions an authoritarian hellscape, where the government dictates the exclusion of literally everything from what we have left in pleasurable life. 

Some would say Burlington would become the North Korea of the North East – and they would be right. If Castrigano is elected, we’ll be like those North Korean farmers who have only heard whispers about the internet and the outside world but will never
see it.

And say what you will about North Korea’s sister state, communist China, and their autocratic republic, but at least it comes with electricity. 

Under Dan Castro, I mean Castrigano, it seems we’d revert to ape-hood, living in the trees, eating scraps and bugs, presumably replenishing all those same emissions with our revolting flatulence. 

Though, Castrigano has, indeed, gained the staggering achievement of making prolific windbag, Councilor Sarah Carpenter, appear coherent. I’ll admit it, at least Sarah Carpenter loves Burlington. Almost as much as she loves listening to her own voice. 

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The Daft

While Burning Sky was encouraged to see that Hannah King had finally plucked up the courage to speak in public, given our last profile, we were saddened to see that she once again shrivelled into the unimaginative husk we have come to know, and regretfully love. 

King’s performance in her recent debate was what you would expect: prepared remarks, read almost verbatim, with occasional, millisecond glances to the camera. 

She seems to have required little time in preparing, though. Given it seems the vast majority of her opening statement was lifted from her campaign ad (and caucus nominating speech):

King’s manifesto, as Burning Sky has already pointed out, remains extremely light on the ideas portion and more focused on the painful smiles and repetitive life story.

And after listening to too much of Hannah King, one might want to refresh themselves with an encyclopedia, as to educate oneself as to the connection between words and their true meanings – something King does not seem to do often.

This ought to have been the easiest race for the Progressives to potentially win. Given the expected student turnout for Progressive mayoral candidate Emma Mulvaney-Stank, an obvious conclusion would be that student vote would be shared with the Progressive council candidate, Marek Broderick

Unfortunately for the Progressives, Broderick has the look of a lost child poster, or that of a human koala bear pulled freshly out of hibernation, attempting to grasp the world around him. He isn’t a star candidate, either. 

Broderick seems to be just what would happen if you asked AI to generate an aspiring young politician who is, in fact, not smarter than a 5th grader. But hey, he, unlike King, actively attends college.

Burning Sky is dedicated to providing critique and commentary on the issues of the day from an unapologetic perspective, fueling change in the heart of Vermont. Published every Monday.